From Cool, Young Mom to Older Parent…Overnight

I woke up in a sweat last night and as much as I’d like to blame it on hormones, I can’t.  This one is courtesy of my son’s last comments as we left him at his university dorm. He marveled at how weird it will be to see my husband and I every few months instead of every day.  Don and I blinked back tears.  Not seeing his smile every day is the part we both have dreaded every day for months now.  How poignant, we both were thinking, that we all shared this feeling. It was, as they say, a “moment”.  Right up until our kiddo smashed it with this:

“I’ll really be able to see how much you’re aging now.”

Crap.  Don and I had been giving each other pep talks, and his main battle cry of late was to be prepared for how different Austin will be even when he comes home for Thanksgiving.  O.K., so he’ll be more independent and maybe even leave the toilet seat down. I can deal. Stupid me, though.  I hadn’t thought about the changes he might notice in us. And so there I was last night, bolt upright in bed, left only with the implications of Austin’s simple declaration to contemplate.  How will his perception of me change over time, the son who has always taken a bit of pride in having a youthful mom? 

And it hit me.  I had just joined the ranks of those whom I had previously thought of as a group quite apart from me.  Now I was really awake, because I realized that it wasn’t just Austin who would view me differently.  People like me (o.k., who I was yesterdy) would now think of me, refer to me, even react to me as an “older parent with grown children”. 

Have I stayed “young” only because I’ve had to keep up with the changing lingo, music, styles and whims of a teen?  My mind raced as I thought of all the “older parents with grown children” I know. Now that I’ll be out of the loop, will I also be hopelessly “out of it”? Am I resigned to a life of knitting, public television, senior discounts and AARP meetings now that I’m an empty nester?  I got out of bed-twice-to examine my face and I swear there are new lines that weren’t there yesterday.  The panic was rising, and I needed a touchstone so I woke Don up to ask all these questions and more in rapid fire style. 

God Bless the long-suffering husbands of the world.  Don reassured me that I looked the same as the day he met me (I was thirteen with braces, but I’ll take it), that I’m still VERY cool, and that AARP memberships aren’t even offered to 45 year old women.  He patted my arm and rolled over, and I was left to grin sheepishly in the dark.  The last thing I remember thinking kept me in a deep slumber the rest of the night:  I’ll always have at least part of my youth as long as I continue to be so immature!

How do YOU stay young, now that the kids are gone?  Am I the silliest woman on Earth, or did you have these feelings?  Love to hear your take. —- Nesta

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